Two days ago I tweeted,
'Imagine being a parent of two, or more, children, trying to get them to complete all the work being set by their school, whilst also having to complete the work demanded by your headteacher/employer. then feeling guilt about what doesn't get done. Just stop doing this.'
The response to the tweet has been overwhelming, currently sitting at 600 likes, 50 retweets and almost 50 messages in reply.
The stimulus for the tweet was hearing from yet another teacher who was almost distraught by the guilt and stress she was feeling, as she struggled with the demands of providing an education for three young children and the increasing demands from her school for online activities and report writing, combined with her teaching responsibility at a local 'hub' school. She was being pulled by family responsibilities, school and local authority demands and the responsibility she felt to take her place in the 'hub' school. The dynamics of dealing with all this, whilst at the same time worrying about the impacts of coronavirus, had led to high levels of stress, guilt and frustration. She was feeling overwhelmed.
I have been getting more concerned, as the current situation has developed and we are experiencing the challenges of lockdown and profound changes to our lives. The expectations and demands being put on parents, whether they are teachers or not, is ratchetting up and creating immediate, as well as more long term, challenges for individuals, schools and systems.
We are living through uncertain times, and we are having to make enormous adjustments to the practicalities of our lives, as well as in understandings of ourselves and our identities. Such change bring of themselves their own stresses and challenges, which we have to navigate, negotiate and make sense of, both as an individual and for those we care for. Piling on top of these more challenge because of changes to work patterns, whilst the organisation of schooling and education is being reconfigured and imagined, can lead to stress, anxiety or feelings of guilt that can compound those we are already experiencing because of the situation we now find ourselves in.
I my experience, most school staff are conscientious and want to do the best job they can, whatever the circumstances. Many are worriers, born from a desire to do their very best for the young people and communities they serve. This can lead them to feelings of guilt when things are not how they would like them to be, and stress when they feel circumstances are beyond their control. These are characteristics that make for great teachers, but also can lead to them being their own worst enemies at times.
A host of research has been published recently around parents and their aspirations for their children. A general conclusion is that it is a myth that many parents have low aspirations. The opposite is in fact true, most parents, whatever their circumstances still have high aspirations for their children. They want to do the right things for their children, but many have barriers put in their way by societal organisation and lack of resources or knowledge.
School staff and parents are finding the current situation challenging for various reasons. Both parents and schools need to consider what those challenges might be for each other, if we are to find the best route out of this crisis for our young people.
The responses I have received to my tweet indicate a very mixed picture regarding the experience parents and teachers are having at the moment. I have received lots of wonderful affirming responses that indicate the common-sense, empathy and pragmatism being utilised by many school leaders and local authorities.
'I feel guilty about the things not getting done but this is def not driven by my school! They, and GCC, are v sympathetic to the needs of teachers with caring responsibilities.'
'Our school has been great at stating only do what works for you and your family which has really taken the pressure off us working from home.'
'I'm extremely lucky to have a head who knows we are all trying our hardest in these tricky times. Its the biggest juggling act ever.'
'I'm lucky to be in a school/LA where wellbeing is at the forefront, but even so there are challenges in balancing work and home learning.'
'Not all headteachers are expecting this. Be kind to yourself. Constant message to staff and parents - do what is possible whilst mainatining the well-being of your family. If you have done that then there can be no reason to feel guilty.'
'You can only do what you can do. Wellbeing is far more important, this is the message I am constantly passing to my staff. The pupils will engage when they are ready, as long as they are happy and healthy then I am happy, if they do any work, that is a bonus.'
'This is the time to look after pupils and staff. To me that is not done through vast quantities of home learning. My message to every family and every member of staff is do what is right for you.'
These were some of the most heartening messages I received from teachers and school leaders. You can see how staff, learners and parents, as part of these school communities, would feel valued, listened to and part of a caring community. I would argue that this is a time where we can establish and build on relationships between parents and schools, or we can destroy them, re-enforce stereotypes and put up more barriers to positive relationships, according to the actions we take and empathy we display. It is my hope and belief that the tweets above are a reflection of a common approach across Scottish education, and beyond. To establishments reflected in these tweets I would say well done, keep doing what you are doing, keep reflecting and changing in the light of new insights, and you will emerge out of this stronger and with healthier school community, ready to meet new challenges together. You are also likely to reduce stress levels for staff and parents alike.
Of course there were many tweets that presented a different picture, more reflective of the experiences of the teacher who prompted my original tweet.
'Imagine now being a parent of kids and demanding the school do even more online lessons?'
'And throw into the mix being the parent of a child with SEND whose occupational therapy has stopped, who has medical conditions..and you spend two days phoning round hospitals to find help when he has a problem.'
'The whole thing is ridiculous. schools/teachers are being put under pressure to over deliver but it's neither realistic nor sustainable for families or teachers.'
'Kind of there. I have a toddler and a Y5 son. I am in school 3 days every other week and a pile of stuff to do at home too with school stuff...'
'...schools still insisting on taking attendance registers by 9.30 each morning and suggesting it is still a legal requirement, despite the school being officially closed'
'I have 3 children who attend 3 different schools - 3 different systems for work and 3 different expectations. whilst also a HT of Maintained Nursery School - exhausted!'
'Yes its a constant struggle. Impossible to stop feeling guilty, I've got more work than ever and my children are not getting much schoolwork done, school sending lots of work daily.'
'I am a single parent of 2 girls... Trying to support my eldest whilst keeping my youngest busy is challenging., when you add in the home learning I have to do myself and I am also still on a rota for a hub, I am exhausted every day.'
'I am trying to complete assessments for a p/t work related degree, take my turn in supporting early years hubs for keyworkers and keep 3 boys (2 high school) engaged in education with 1 laptop. It is a constant struggle to maintain balance and very tiring.'
'....seeing posts about how we should give up Summer holiday and/or October half term because they are not needed due to this 'holiday' at the same time as being held responsible for the social, emotional AND educational welfare of every child you teach??'
'I'm a single parent to one in S1 and that is hard enough. Trying to help him with school work, do a full day's work and spend meaningful time with him in the evening to keep him off the Xbox is HARD and the amount of work his school are sending him is completely overwhelming.'
'(I've 3 kids) and secondary teacher - it means home/life balance is less as once little ones go to bed I can do development work/marking/feedback catch up.'
'I know schools where staff have to go in and the head has got the teaching assistants to CLEAN INDIVIDUAL PENCILS???'
Hopefully, that last one really is an outlier!
You can feel the anguish in many of these tweets from parents, teachers and headteachers and there is no doubt that some schools, school leaders and local authorities need to have a good hard look at the impacts they are having and the cultures they are developing or promoting.
Last night the former head of OFSTED emerged from some darkened hole to suggest that teachers may have to work weekends and evenings to remedy the impact of school closures! It is this sort of thinking and direction, that pays no heed to learner, teacher or parental wellbeing, and which sees education purely in terms of outputs, leadings to thinking and practices that destroy the very relationships that schools require to meet the needs of their communities. This should be resisted by all in the profession, and especially by parents.
I think what we have is a mixed picture of good and emerging practice, interspersed with what are hopefully outliers of approaches that are unintentially working against the common good. Relationships need to be strong, especially during times of crisis. Micro-managers and control freaks should stop endeavouring to reach out to learners, parents and staff to maintain their power-base or control. Perhaps now is the time for more reflection and circumspection as opposed to further top-down direction in our education systems and schools. I took part in a Webinar this morning with Alma Harris and Lyn Sharrat which was teacher leadership. Alma pointed out that now, more than ever, teachers are stepping up to the plate and leading. She believes and hopes, as do I, that such teacher influence on practice and policy will continue after the current emergency is over.
Times of greatest challenge can also provide us with opportunity, if we are ready to grasp it. A reimagining of what education could/should be might not be a bad place to start.
To all parents, teachers or not, I leave you with this poem sent to me by @ash7982, written by Emily King.
Public Service Announcement
Parents: What we are
being asked to do is not
humanly possible, There
is a reason we are either
a working parent, a stay-
at-home parent, or a
part-time working parent.
Working, parenting, and
teaching are three
different jobs that
cannot be done at the
same time.
It's not hard because you
are doing it wrong, It's
hard because it's too
much.
Do the best you can.
Emily W King , PhD
'Imagine being a parent of two, or more, children, trying to get them to complete all the work being set by their school, whilst also having to complete the work demanded by your headteacher/employer. then feeling guilt about what doesn't get done. Just stop doing this.'
The response to the tweet has been overwhelming, currently sitting at 600 likes, 50 retweets and almost 50 messages in reply.
The stimulus for the tweet was hearing from yet another teacher who was almost distraught by the guilt and stress she was feeling, as she struggled with the demands of providing an education for three young children and the increasing demands from her school for online activities and report writing, combined with her teaching responsibility at a local 'hub' school. She was being pulled by family responsibilities, school and local authority demands and the responsibility she felt to take her place in the 'hub' school. The dynamics of dealing with all this, whilst at the same time worrying about the impacts of coronavirus, had led to high levels of stress, guilt and frustration. She was feeling overwhelmed.
I have been getting more concerned, as the current situation has developed and we are experiencing the challenges of lockdown and profound changes to our lives. The expectations and demands being put on parents, whether they are teachers or not, is ratchetting up and creating immediate, as well as more long term, challenges for individuals, schools and systems.
We are living through uncertain times, and we are having to make enormous adjustments to the practicalities of our lives, as well as in understandings of ourselves and our identities. Such change bring of themselves their own stresses and challenges, which we have to navigate, negotiate and make sense of, both as an individual and for those we care for. Piling on top of these more challenge because of changes to work patterns, whilst the organisation of schooling and education is being reconfigured and imagined, can lead to stress, anxiety or feelings of guilt that can compound those we are already experiencing because of the situation we now find ourselves in.
I my experience, most school staff are conscientious and want to do the best job they can, whatever the circumstances. Many are worriers, born from a desire to do their very best for the young people and communities they serve. This can lead them to feelings of guilt when things are not how they would like them to be, and stress when they feel circumstances are beyond their control. These are characteristics that make for great teachers, but also can lead to them being their own worst enemies at times.
A host of research has been published recently around parents and their aspirations for their children. A general conclusion is that it is a myth that many parents have low aspirations. The opposite is in fact true, most parents, whatever their circumstances still have high aspirations for their children. They want to do the right things for their children, but many have barriers put in their way by societal organisation and lack of resources or knowledge.
School staff and parents are finding the current situation challenging for various reasons. Both parents and schools need to consider what those challenges might be for each other, if we are to find the best route out of this crisis for our young people.
The responses I have received to my tweet indicate a very mixed picture regarding the experience parents and teachers are having at the moment. I have received lots of wonderful affirming responses that indicate the common-sense, empathy and pragmatism being utilised by many school leaders and local authorities.
'I feel guilty about the things not getting done but this is def not driven by my school! They, and GCC, are v sympathetic to the needs of teachers with caring responsibilities.'
'Our school has been great at stating only do what works for you and your family which has really taken the pressure off us working from home.'
'I'm extremely lucky to have a head who knows we are all trying our hardest in these tricky times. Its the biggest juggling act ever.'
'I'm lucky to be in a school/LA where wellbeing is at the forefront, but even so there are challenges in balancing work and home learning.'
'Not all headteachers are expecting this. Be kind to yourself. Constant message to staff and parents - do what is possible whilst mainatining the well-being of your family. If you have done that then there can be no reason to feel guilty.'
'You can only do what you can do. Wellbeing is far more important, this is the message I am constantly passing to my staff. The pupils will engage when they are ready, as long as they are happy and healthy then I am happy, if they do any work, that is a bonus.'
'This is the time to look after pupils and staff. To me that is not done through vast quantities of home learning. My message to every family and every member of staff is do what is right for you.'
These were some of the most heartening messages I received from teachers and school leaders. You can see how staff, learners and parents, as part of these school communities, would feel valued, listened to and part of a caring community. I would argue that this is a time where we can establish and build on relationships between parents and schools, or we can destroy them, re-enforce stereotypes and put up more barriers to positive relationships, according to the actions we take and empathy we display. It is my hope and belief that the tweets above are a reflection of a common approach across Scottish education, and beyond. To establishments reflected in these tweets I would say well done, keep doing what you are doing, keep reflecting and changing in the light of new insights, and you will emerge out of this stronger and with healthier school community, ready to meet new challenges together. You are also likely to reduce stress levels for staff and parents alike.
Of course there were many tweets that presented a different picture, more reflective of the experiences of the teacher who prompted my original tweet.
'Imagine now being a parent of kids and demanding the school do even more online lessons?'
'And throw into the mix being the parent of a child with SEND whose occupational therapy has stopped, who has medical conditions..and you spend two days phoning round hospitals to find help when he has a problem.'
'The whole thing is ridiculous. schools/teachers are being put under pressure to over deliver but it's neither realistic nor sustainable for families or teachers.'
'Kind of there. I have a toddler and a Y5 son. I am in school 3 days every other week and a pile of stuff to do at home too with school stuff...'
'...schools still insisting on taking attendance registers by 9.30 each morning and suggesting it is still a legal requirement, despite the school being officially closed'
'I have 3 children who attend 3 different schools - 3 different systems for work and 3 different expectations. whilst also a HT of Maintained Nursery School - exhausted!'
'Yes its a constant struggle. Impossible to stop feeling guilty, I've got more work than ever and my children are not getting much schoolwork done, school sending lots of work daily.'
'I am a single parent of 2 girls... Trying to support my eldest whilst keeping my youngest busy is challenging., when you add in the home learning I have to do myself and I am also still on a rota for a hub, I am exhausted every day.'
'I am trying to complete assessments for a p/t work related degree, take my turn in supporting early years hubs for keyworkers and keep 3 boys (2 high school) engaged in education with 1 laptop. It is a constant struggle to maintain balance and very tiring.'
'....seeing posts about how we should give up Summer holiday and/or October half term because they are not needed due to this 'holiday' at the same time as being held responsible for the social, emotional AND educational welfare of every child you teach??'
'I'm a single parent to one in S1 and that is hard enough. Trying to help him with school work, do a full day's work and spend meaningful time with him in the evening to keep him off the Xbox is HARD and the amount of work his school are sending him is completely overwhelming.'
'(I've 3 kids) and secondary teacher - it means home/life balance is less as once little ones go to bed I can do development work/marking/feedback catch up.'
'I know schools where staff have to go in and the head has got the teaching assistants to CLEAN INDIVIDUAL PENCILS???'
Hopefully, that last one really is an outlier!
You can feel the anguish in many of these tweets from parents, teachers and headteachers and there is no doubt that some schools, school leaders and local authorities need to have a good hard look at the impacts they are having and the cultures they are developing or promoting.
Last night the former head of OFSTED emerged from some darkened hole to suggest that teachers may have to work weekends and evenings to remedy the impact of school closures! It is this sort of thinking and direction, that pays no heed to learner, teacher or parental wellbeing, and which sees education purely in terms of outputs, leadings to thinking and practices that destroy the very relationships that schools require to meet the needs of their communities. This should be resisted by all in the profession, and especially by parents.
I think what we have is a mixed picture of good and emerging practice, interspersed with what are hopefully outliers of approaches that are unintentially working against the common good. Relationships need to be strong, especially during times of crisis. Micro-managers and control freaks should stop endeavouring to reach out to learners, parents and staff to maintain their power-base or control. Perhaps now is the time for more reflection and circumspection as opposed to further top-down direction in our education systems and schools. I took part in a Webinar this morning with Alma Harris and Lyn Sharrat which was teacher leadership. Alma pointed out that now, more than ever, teachers are stepping up to the plate and leading. She believes and hopes, as do I, that such teacher influence on practice and policy will continue after the current emergency is over.
Times of greatest challenge can also provide us with opportunity, if we are ready to grasp it. A reimagining of what education could/should be might not be a bad place to start.
To all parents, teachers or not, I leave you with this poem sent to me by @ash7982, written by Emily King.
Public Service Announcement
Parents: What we are
being asked to do is not
humanly possible, There
is a reason we are either
a working parent, a stay-
at-home parent, or a
part-time working parent.
Working, parenting, and
teaching are three
different jobs that
cannot be done at the
same time.
It's not hard because you
are doing it wrong, It's
hard because it's too
much.
Do the best you can.
Emily W King , PhD
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